How to Be There for Others Without Losing Yourself
Supporting others is important, but not at the cost of your well-being. Learn practical ways to help loved ones while maintaining your own mental and emotional balance.
Do you feel like you’re always the one everyone depends on? Whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers, you’re the go-to person who handles everything. But while you’re busy taking care of others, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. You might even wonder: “How can I support others without feeling drained or invisible?”
The good news is: you can. In this blog, we’ll explore how to be there for others in a way that’s both meaningful and sustainable—without losing yourself in the process.
Signs You’re Giving Too Much (and What to Do About It)
When you’re constantly giving, it can lead to burnout before you even realize it. Here are some common signs you’re giving too much, along with examples and strategies to restore balance:
1. You feel resentful.
You notice growing frustration when others ask for help, even though you still say “yes.”
Example: A friend frequently asks you to help with their projects, and while you always agree, you feel annoyed that they don’t consider your time.
What to do: Pay attention to this feeling—it’s a signal you need to pull back. Start practicing small, guilt-free “no’s.”
Script: “I’d love to help, but my schedule is full right now.”
Feeling seen? If this sounds like you, consider taking a step toward prioritizing yourself. Schedule a free consultation to learn how therapy can help you recognize and address these patterns.
2. Your energy is always low.
Even after rest, you feel emotionally and physically drained.
Example: You wake up feeling tired, and even small tasks feel overwhelming because you’re constantly taking care of others’ needs.
What to do: Schedule non-negotiable time for yourself. Block it out on your calendar for reading, walking, or simply sitting quietly.
3. You feel invisible.
Your own needs are overlooked because you’re always focused on others.
Example: Your family assumes you’ll handle everything from cooking to organizing schedules, but no one asks how you’re feeling or if you need support.
What to do: Start small by voicing your needs in safe spaces.
Script: “I feel tired today. Can we reschedule this meeting so I can have a moment to rest?”
Ready to put yourself first? Taking the first step is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out today to explore how therapy can help you feel more balanced.
The Power of Asking for Help: Why It’s a Gift to Yourself and Others
Asking for help can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to being the caretaker. But letting others step in isn’t just good for you—it’s also a gift to them.
Why Asking for Help Matters
It builds connection.
Letting others help deepens relationships and fosters trust.
It sets an example.
By modeling healthy boundaries, you show others that it’s okay to ask for support.
It prevents burnout.
Sharing the load gives you the energy to show up fully in the moments that matter.
Need help finding the right words? My latest blog, Simple Scripts for Setting Boundaries Without Guilt, has actionable examples to get you started. Check it out here.
What If Someone Pushes Back on Your Self-Care Time?
People may push back when you start prioritizing yourself, especially if they’re used to you always being available. Here’s how to handle common objections—and why self-care is non-negotiable:
1. “You’re being selfish.”
Response: “Taking time to recharge allows me to be more present and supportive when I’m with you.”
Reminder: Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
2. “But I need you to [insert task].”
Response: “I understand this is important to you, but I need a moment to rest. Let’s find another solution together.”
3. “Why can’t you just push through?”
Response: “When I push too hard, I end up overwhelmed or sick. It’s better to take small breaks now than to be forced to stop later.”
Struggling to set boundaries? I can help you navigate these conversations with confidence and compassion. Schedule a consultation today.
Examples of Creating Self-Care Rituals That Recharge You
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s what allows you to show up as your best self. Here are examples of small, actionable self-care rituals you can build into your life:
1. Start your day with intention.
Dedicate the first 10 minutes of your day to yourself—whether it’s journaling, stretching, or sipping coffee in silence.
2. Set boundaries around your time.
Protect parts of your day or week for activities that recharge you.
Example: Say “no” to additional projects or commitments at work and focus on finishing what’s already on your plate.
3. Celebrate small wins.
At the end of each day, reflect on one thing you did for yourself. Maybe you said “no” to something that didn’t serve you or took a moment to breathe.
4. Practice mindfulness.
Be present in your daily tasks.
Example: When washing dishes or taking a walk, focus on the sensations around you, the sounds, and how your body feels in the moment.
Which ritual speaks to you? Share in the comments below, or let’s work together to create a personalized self-care plan that fits your life.
You Can Care for Others Without Losing Yourself
Finding the balance between supporting others and caring for yourself is an ongoing journey. It starts with recognizing the signs that you’re giving too much, learning to ask for help, and prioritizing self-care.
When you take care of yourself, you show up more fully for the people you care about—and remind yourself that your needs matter too.
Let’s get started. Schedule a free consultation today to explore how therapy can help you create balance, set boundaries, and recharge your energy.
Recognizing and Managing Trauma Responses
It all begins with an idea.
How Trauma Affects the Body and How to Begin Healing
What Are Trauma Responses and Why Do They Happen?
Trauma isn’t just something that happened in the past—it can live in the body and mind, shaping how we react to stress, relationships, and everyday situations. Sometimes, our reactions seem “too much” for the moment, but in reality, they are survival responses learned from past experiences.
If you've ever found yourself shutting down, overreacting, or feeling overwhelmed without knowing why—your body may be responding to unresolved trauma.
Recognizing these responses is the first step toward healing.
In this post, you’ll learn:
✅ What trauma responses look like
✅ How trauma affects your mind and body
✅ Simple strategies to manage trauma responses and feel more in control
What Are Trauma Responses?
When your nervous system detects a perceived threat—whether physical or emotional—it reacts in one of four survival modes:
Fight (anger, irritability, control)
Flight (anxiety, perfectionism, overworking)
Freeze (numbness, dissociation, shutting down)
Fawn (people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries)
Recognizing Trauma Responses
1. Fight Response 🚨
👉 Snapping at people, feeling easily irritated, needing control.
Feeling easily frustrated or angry
Reacting aggressively to small inconveniences
Feeling the need to be in control
Defending yourself even when not necessary
👉 Example: You snap at your partner or friend because they interrupted you, even though they meant no harm.
2. Flight Response 🏃♂️
👉 Constant busyness, avoiding emotions, feeling restless.
Feeling anxious or on edge
Overworking or keeping busy to avoid emotions
Constantly planning an “escape” from situations
Feeling like you need to do more to be safe
👉 Example: You keep yourself busy with work or social media so you don’t have to sit with uncomfortable emotions.
3. Freeze Response ❄️
👉 Feeling stuck, unable to express emotions, zoning out.
Feeling paralyzed when faced with a decision
Struggling to express yourself
Feeling emotionally numb or detached
Losing track of time or feeling “disconnected” from reality
👉 Example: You’re in an argument and suddenly go blank, unable to respond—even though you have so much to say.
4. Fawn Response 🙏
👉 Saying “yes” to everything, struggling with boundaries, putting others first.
Saying “yes” even when you want to say “no”
Prioritizing others’ needs over your own
Avoiding conflict at all costs
Feeling guilty when you set boundaries
👉 Example: You agree to help a friend move, even though you’re exhausted and need rest, because you don’t want to disappoint them.
How Trauma Affects the Body
Trauma isn’t just emotional—it’s stored in the body. Here’s how unprocessed trauma can show up physically:
💔 Racing heart, shallow breathing → Body in fight-or-flight mode.
😨 Digestive issues → Stress affecting the gut.
😴 Fatigue or insomnia → Chronic stress disrupting sleep patterns.
🧍♀️ Muscle tension, headaches, chronic pain → Body holding onto unresolved trauma.
5 Ways to Manage Trauma Responses
Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
One effective way to regulate trauma responses is by using one of the following grounding skills:
Four Elements Grounding Skill:
🌍 Earth → Press feet into the ground, hold a weighted object.
💨 Air → Take deep, slow breaths, feel the wind.
💧 Water → Drink cool water, splash face with water.
🔥 Fire → Rub hands together quickly to create friction and warmth, place hands on face to experience the fire you can create.
5,4,3,2,1 Grounding Skill:
5 Things You Can See: List and identify 5 things around you that you can see. While doing this being as specific and detailed works best. Repeat similar steps for the following senses.
4 Things You Can Touch
3 Things You Can Hear
2 Things You Can Smell
1 Thing You Can Taste
📌 Why It Works: Engaging your senses helps bring you back to the present moment, signaling safety to your nervous system.
2. Regulate Your Breathing
Your breath is a powerful tool for calming your nervous system—but the exhale needs to be longer than the inhale. This signals safety to the brain.
Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing):
Place one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest.
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, feeling your stomach expand.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds.
Repeat until your heart rate slows down.
📌 Why It Works: A longer exhale engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps turn off the fight-or-flight response.
3. Move Your Body to Release Stored Trauma
Trauma often gets stuck in the body. Slow, rhythmic movement helps release it.
Go for a short walk or stretch gently.
Bilateral Stimulation Tapping: Slowly tap your shoulders, arms, or knees, alternating sides at a slow and steady rhythm (similar to EMDR therapy).
Shake out tension in your arms and legs to discharge stress.
📌 Why It Works: Movement releases stored energy from trauma, preventing emotional overwhelm.
4. Create Small, Safe Boundaries
Practice saying, “I need to think about it,” before agreeing to something.
Start small, like declining an extra work task when overwhelmed.
Write down your needs before a conversation so you feel more prepared.
📌 Why It Works: Setting boundaries retrains your brain to feel safe expressing needs without guilt.
5. Reframe Your Trauma Responses as Survival Strategies
Instead of judging yourself for your reactions, remind yourself:
✅ “My brain and body are trying to keep me safe.”
✅ “I’m learning new ways to respond, and that’s okay.”
✅ “Each small step I take toward healing is a win.”
📌 Why It Works: Self-compassion shifts your mindset from “What’s wrong with me?” to “I’m doing my best to heal.”
Healing Trauma Takes Time – And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Recognizing trauma responses is the first step toward healing. The next step? Learning how to regulate them in a way that feels safe and empowering.
🚀 Every small step is progress. Every time you pause, breathe, or set a boundary, you are re-teaching your nervous system that you are safe.
If you're ready to explore trauma healing in a supportive space, therapy can help.
🌙 Kiara Brown, LPC
Lunar Counseling
📞 724-230-6432
📧 lunarcounseling@gmail.com
🌐 www.lunar-counseling.com
👉 Schedule your first session here.